


Meet the Kirklands (2P!F.A.C.E x Reader)

by eroticincubi



Series: Francis and Me [4]
Category: 2P Hetalia - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Humor, Literature, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2014-10-21
Packaged: 2018-02-22 02:08:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2490542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eroticincubi/pseuds/eroticincubi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where you meet Artie and his family for the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meet the Kirklands (2P!F.A.C.E x Reader)

**Author's Note:**

> This idea was sort of a "Meet the Parents/Meet the Fockers" kinda thing, I thought it would be funny if Reader were to meet Artie, Al and Kaya. This story takes place sometime shortly after "Secret Smile" when you moved in with Francis and Matthew. 
> 
> I don't own you, or 2P!Hetalia. Kaya Jones belongs to silver-kitsuneneko. I own the grammar/spelling mistakes. 
> 
>  
> 
> **  
> Number Bullets  
> **
> 
>  
> 
>  **[1]** Your [outfit](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://www.shanilascorner.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/women-dress-with-leather-outfits.jpg).
> 
>  **[2]** Francis's [car](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://www.blogcdn.com/www.autoblog.com/media/2009/03/bugatti-blue-centenaire-live_14_opt.jpg). 
> 
> **[3]** Time warp back to "[A Woman's Touch](http://eroticincubi.deviantart.com/art/A-Woman-s-Touch-2P-France-x-Reader-458051513)".
> 
>  **[4]**  [Bouillabaisse](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bouillabaisse) is a type of french style fish stew. I've personally never had it but it does look delicious, especially seeing those mussels and shrimp in it. [Yummy](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://img.erecipe.com/images/recipe_upload/84117a81180ecdcc66a53d38622de2e2522ae56c.jpg).
> 
>  **[5]** I've never had a nose bleed in my life (thank God!) so when I was a kid growing up I was always given the impression that you were supposed to tilt your head back to stop the flow of blood. After doing some research I found that, that wasn't the case at all and will only make the experience worst.
> 
> [6] I either want some or want to make some, they look so [cute](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://aspicyperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/IMG_5449.jpg) though! 
> 
>  **[7]** I thought of this after watching a scene from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" I thought it totally suit Reader and Matthew especially since they have more of a Big Sister/Little Brother relationship.

“Get dressed, we are going out,” you hear Francis say behind you, well he was addressing both you and Matthew; who was actually helping you shell the peas out of the pods in a large bowl as you both sat at the kitchen table. You both turn to stare at the Frenchman oddly, “Yes Mathieu I mean you as well,”

“Where are we going?” Matthew’s eyes squinted a bit suspiciously, oh boy if Matthew was getting suspicious of his father’s intentions then you should be worried.

Francis makes a disgusted sounding snort, “We have been invited to have dinner with the Kirklands at their house. Alfred will be there as well and Mathieu, I am supposed to tell you no fighting or whatever it was that Arthur said, I really don’t care or give a shit.”

“Who are the Kirklands?” you ask curiously looking from Francis to Matthew to whom you address this question to. “Arthur and Kaya are friends of the family, very old friends, and Alfred is their shit stain son.” “I take it you don’t like Alfred then?” “Just because I called him a shit stain, doesn’t mean I don’t like him. We grew up together, Papa and I used to live with Artie and Al when Al and I were kids, closer than brothers and that shit.” “So…what can I expect from the Kirklands?”   “It’s best you find out in person,” he says looking a little grim and pats you on the shoulder.    “Oh come on, are you telling me that they’re as crazy as you and your father?”   “Pfft that’s an understatement. We’re sane compared to them,”    “Shit…”    “First there’s Artie, Artie’s was like--well he’s _still_ like--my mother figure. He cooks, cleans, fusses over everyone, a bit sensitive, and very, _very_ passive,”    “Oh he doesn’t sound too bad,”    “Then there’s Kaya, his wife. She’s well…interesting. Her job takes her all over the place travelling wise I mean and last year she finally settled back here which is why Papa and I moved to the house we’re in now,”    “Oh, well then what about Alfred?”  “Fuckin’ piece of shit…” he grimaces as though the boy was right in front of him.    “Matt!” you shout annoyed that he kept calling this boy you have never met such a horrible name.   “I’m serious! He’s the shit stain on society’s underwear!”    “Jeez, that’s rather harsh! I thought you said you liked him!”   “Of course I do, he’s still my brother but he’s still a shit stain.” “Enough with the history lessons, it’s getting late Mathieu and you know how Arthur gets when we are late. The man will nag your ear off more than a woman on her rag. Now come along you two, allons-y.” You find it odd to be rushed by Francis and mostly because he’s usually so lazy and runs out of fucks to give. Yet you comply and you also think that it would be nice to meet some of Francis’ family/friends. Well you were rather surprised that he had any friends at all! Putting on your best dress-casual outfit **[1]** you were just touching up your lipstick in the hallway mirror when you see Francis watching you, Matthew was beside him looking bored until he spied his sun glasses over the counter top where you kept the glass bowl to hold the spare change. He then takes them up and puts them on top of his head. “Are you quite finished? You look like a whore on her best day with all that slop on your face.” Francis drawls, both looking and sounding rather annoyed.

You turn and glare at him something fierce, even Matthew winces slightly, “And I’m sure _you_ would know all about how whores would look on their best days, am I right?” 

Walking past him you go to open the front door and you walk out toward his car, a bright blue Bugatti Veyron **[2]**.

“Hey __________, you ride shot gun, I’ll sit in the back.” Offers Matthew after he reaches to open the door for you and had held you by the shoulder.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind it, besides it look at little cramped in the back.”

“Nah, it’s cool, sit in the front.” You shrug and wait until Matthew squeezes himself into the back seat and pulls the passenger set up for you to sit in. Pulling the bottom latch of the seat you slide it a bit forward so that Matt could have room in the back for his legs to stretch a little. You then sit comfortably in the front and put your seat belt on.

Francis starts the car and takes off at high speed as though someone was chasing after him. You of course grab down on the left side of your seat with your left hand and with your right you grab at the support ring above the door or as you like to call it, the “OH SHIT” handle. Francis drove through two stops signs and five lights until he finally pulls the car into a driveway and parks it. The moment Francis turns off the car you practically bolt out of the passenger side and you HUG the ground. 

“LAND! Sweet, merciful, rock solid LAND!” you shout and lie flat on the patch of grass on the front lawn, “Who knew I would miss grass so much?”

Matthew only laughs at you just as he got out of the car and shuts the door. Francis looks annoyed and lights up a cigarette. You then glare at them just as you get up to smack at Matthew’s arms and chest, “You little weasel! You knew how fast your dad drives and yet you didn’t have the decency to warn me!” Matthew only continues to laugh which makes you even angrier when you round in on Francis who seemed to not give a shit, “And _YOU_ what the hell is the matter with you?! Where did you learn how to drive like that? If you will even call that driving?! You almost gave me a heart attack I seriously thought I was going to die! I was making my will up in my head and I swear I saw my life flash before my fucking eyes!” “We made it in time didn’t we? Quit your bitching, woman!” “Ooh I feel dizzy, oh God I can’t breathe,” you say and you sit against the side of the car fanning yourself until you felt better. Soon you all walk up the path to a cute little house in the middle of the cul de sac of the street. It was a nice white country house trimmed with blue along with matching blue shutters. Francis ushers both you and Matthew up the white porch steps toward the front door, which was pink. He rings the doorbell and steps back. Within moments, a man with reddish hair, blue eyes, and freckles appears at the door, his face became brighter and his eyes shone brightly. Before Francis could react, the smaller man pounces on him and hugs him tightly. 

“FRANNY!”

Franny? You think to yourself and you do your best not to laugh out loud at the nickname. 

Arthur Kirkland was a strange little man with reddish hair, a small and thin body frame, and just a tad on short side. He was wearing a ruffled blue and pink apron along with a big blue bowtie around the collar of his shirt. He then sweetly and brightly welcomes you all into the house then shuts the door behind him. 

On the couch, you immediately notice a brunette teenager sitting and playing video games. He was wearing sunglasses indoors and seemed too occupied in his game. Finally he throws the controller down and jumps up in triumph.    “BOOM! FUCK YEAH! Beat it!”    “Alfred!”    “What Dad?!” the teen glares as Arthur held out the swear jar. He sighs and takes out a few bills from his back pocket then places it into the jar. You stare; the pair didn’t even LOOK related! The boy was a great deal taller than Arthur, had brown skin, and looked a bit more robust.    “And no sunglasses in the house either!” Arthur takes them off to reveal that his son had a pair of red colored eyes. “Aww come on dad! And they’re called shades,” the boy complains and sounds as if the world was about to end, you couldn’t help but smile.   “Do what your father says you little fuckin’ piece of shit,” said Francis glaring at him while standing by your side, the boy only smirks at him.    “Well hello to you too Daddy Francis,” the boy’s demeanor changed as he grins to Francis. “Fuck you!”    “I’ve been waiting for you,” the teen grins and wiggles his butt a little with each step he took until he was almost face to face with him. He then notices you looking at him with a mixture of shock confusion and elation,  “Now who the fuck are you?” “Alfred!” Arthur chided his son who looked to his father and shrugs while Matthew smacks him upside his head. You start to laugh for you had a flashback of when you first met Matthew and he practically asked you that very same question **[3]** , “Sorry,” you say as you noticed that all eyes were on you, “I’m laughing because Matt pretty much asked me the same thing the first time I met him, I just thought it was funny. I’m __________ __________, it’s very nice to meet you.”

“No shit?” Alfred looks impressed as he takes your hand and shakes it.

You hear Matt to your right make a click sound with his tongue, “Well yeah, there was a strange woman I’ve never seen before making breakfast in the kitchen. How the fuck was I supposed to react?” 

“Matthew! Ooh such language,” he then gives Matthew the swear jar as well, while Matthew places in it a couple of dollars he had in his back pocket, “And Alfred shut off that game we have guests,” the smaller man turns to smile at you, “Please have a seat __________, would you care for something to drink?” “Some water would be nice thank you,” you say and he pinches your cheek. “Oh you’re so polite, I love it! Franny you really caught a good one this time!” he says as he trots to the kitchen for your water. You turn your attention to Francis who was avoiding your gaze, “Mr. Bonnefoy what does he mean by that?” You then hear a loud staggering snort coming from Alfred and you turn to see the dark skinned boy was now an impressive shade of dark pink, “ _Mr. Bonnefoy_!” he mocks in your voice, “That’s hilarious!” “Shut up asshole, don’t laugh at her, she’s just being fucking polite,” Matthew cuffs Alfred upside the head again then drags him over to the stairs to which they then proceed to walk up them. Alfred was complaining all the way until you hear the light slam of a door. The moment they were gone did you turn your attention back to Francis, “So?”  Francis only shrugs nonchalantly at your question. “It means nothing, stop reading into shit, it’s annoying.” You roll your eyes at him just as Arthur comes back in with a tray of two waters and two wine glasses along with a bottle of wine, “Here you are dear,” he says and hands you the chilled glass of water. “Thank you so much!” “Fancis? Some wine?” “Of course.” He huffs and squashes out the rest of his cigarette into the ashtray on the coffee table. “So __________ tell me a little bit about yourself? How did you and Franny meet?” Just as you were about to reply did you hear a loud friendly voice calling from upstairs, “I hear people in the living room!” said a woman’s voice, “I just got out of the shower, let me put some clothes on and I’ll be right with you!” You couldn’t help but grin at the randomness of that, it must have been Mrs. Kirkland, she seemed to be a real funny kind of gal, Francis however looks a little grim upon hearing Arthur’s wife call from upstairs.

“Mon Dieu… Arthur can’t you ever get control of your woman?” “I dunno Franny, can you?” Arthur smirks and winks at him, Francis lifts a closed fist over his mouth and coughs against it, “I’ll take that as a ‘no’ mate. __________, please continue, you were about to tell me how you two met.” “Well actually I read an advertisement in the paper about a position for a maid that was needed to come in three times a week, they would require to do laundry, general clean up and light cooking. Although the contact info was a little bit shady for my taste, I was even about to say forget it until I saw there was an address provided at the bottom. So then I decided what the heck, and I headed on over after my morning class. The rest is pretty much history.” “And here I thought it was a personal ad,” Arthur giggles behind his own glass of water before taking a sip. “Oh gosh no,” you snicker though the thought of you and Francis being _together,_ together did make your stomach do flip flops, “And if it was there should be room for improvement wouldn’t you agree sir?” you ask teasing Francis a bit and you could see him turn an impressive shade of pink. He was  about to counter argue with you until you hear a thundering crash coming from upstairs followed by shouting, “FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKER!”    “KISS MY MOTHER FUCKIN’ ASS SHIT EATER!”    “I’M GOING TO FUCKIN’ KNOCK YOUR TEETH OUT!”    “I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU DO IT SHIT STAIN!” you jumped at the yelling. 

Francis had seemed to be the only adult to either not notice or care about the yelling. Suddenly something fell downstairs and landed with a thud. Then something jumped from the stairs and landed on top of the figure. You look over and see the two teenagers exchanging punches, swears, kicking and biting. Matthew and Alfred were rolling all over the floor. You stare horrified as Alfred gained the upper hand and repeatedly punched Matthew in the face, who kicked him off into the couch, got up, and proceeded to literately kick Alfred’s ass with his boots.    “Isn’t anyone going to stop this?!” you ask horrified while looking from one man to the other.   “They’ll tire themselves out,” says Francis while pouring himself some more wine. Artie looks visibly upset.    “They’re going to hurt themselves!” Artie wibbles a bit and he cautiously walks over to break them up but was only shoved backwards in the crossfire of the boy’s fight. “Arthur!” you shout and rush over to help him up then you take him back to his seat; the poor man looked so dazed. This prompted another woman, one with dark skin much like Alfred’s, to walk jubilantly down the stairs and she sighs as she headed on over to the scuffling boys. She then proceeded to grab both boys by the nape of their shirts and then smacks their heads together.  “If you two are going to act like assholes then take it outside!” Kaya Jones-Kirkland says as she pulls at each boy up by the ear then proceeds to drag them outside and into the back yard of the house, she later returns to the living room where you all were waiting for her.

Meanwhile from outside you can hear both boys shouting profanities at one another along with a series of punches and yells. You were in such a state of shock by how the situation was handled that your hand was now gently covering your mouth and when the other woman’s attention turns to look at you, you were left slightly stammering. 

“Shouldn’t we--? I mean isn’t there something we can--?” you look from Francis to Arthur then to Kaya who gently shakes her head.

“So who’s the chick? She’s cute,” the brown skinned woman now looks to you, her eyes were a startling red much like Alfred’s and she smiles a bit too mischievously for your liking.

“Kaya behave yourself and hands off, this is __________, she’s my new housekeeper, __________ this is Kaya, Arthur’s wife and Alfred’s mother.” “It’s very nice to meet you,” you say as you hold out your hand to shake the other woman’s. “She’s your—“ the woman shifts her eyes from Francis to you and a smirk lifts the corners of her lips, “Well now, Franny rarely introduces us to someone that works for him, you must be pretty special then.” She says and takes your hand to give it a good, firm shake.

You blush sheepishly and look away, “I don’t know about that…” “And how cute she’s modest too,” her smirk turned into a sly looking grin.

Kaya was the exact opposite of her husband. She was a tall Native American woman with red eyes, a haughty smirk and she had buxom body frame. Her smile turned genuine the moment she notices her husband in the room.    “My cutie patootie wifey!” she grabs the man and proceeded to hug and snuggle him into her breasts, he blushes so brightly that his freckles disappeared.    “Kaya! Not in front of our guests…”    “You’re right, we’ll continue this later tonight,” 

As though right on cue you hear a small sharp ringing coming from the kitchen,  “Do pardon me, that will be the oven -timer. __________ I do hope you like Bouillabaisse **[4]**!” And just as you were about to tell him that you’ve never had it before, Francis decided to interrupt you, “Arthur you made Bouillabaisse?” he sounded both surprised and bewitched that Arthur had cooked such a dinner.  

“Why of course I did! It is after all a special occasion,” the red head smiles and winks at him as he got up and walked to the kitchen looking so carefree, you noticed that Francis eyed Arthur’s bottom rather appreciatively. What the hell was that?

“Hey, Bonnefoy, that freckled cock belongs to me. Don’t you forget that.” Kaya glares and if looks could kill, Francis would be done and buried six feet under. Francis’s retort came out as a dismissive snort, “Kaya please, I'm only after his cute little brown freckled hole,” he then grins lopsidedly to her and winks for effect.

You accidentally spill some of your water onto yourself. The damage wasn’t too bad though you had to excuse yourself to clean up a little, besides you wanted out of that room at least for a moment, “Sorry but um, can I use your bathroom?”

Kaya licks the side of her teeth then grins at you, “Sure dear, it’s up the stairs and to your left.” You get up and head straight for the bathroom per Kaya’s instructions. Closing and locking the door behind you, you look at yourself in the mirror to check your make up and to make sure that nothing was smudged during your small accident. Your blouse was a little wet but that would dry itself soon, there was nothing you could do about that, “Keep it together __________,” you say to yourself softly then you wash your hands and you head out again, not before bumping into Matthew. “Oof!” he grunts and looks down at you, “__________? You okay? What happened and why are you wet?

“Had a bit on an accident,” you smile up at him when you see Matthew’s nose bleeding sluggishly, “Oh my gosh! Matt you’re bleeding!”

Matthew shrugs as if it didn’t bother him, “It happens whenever the shit stain and me fight, you should see him though, I kicked his ass good and proper.” Grabbing him by the wrist you lead him into the bathroom and have him sit on the cover of the toilet where you then take some of the toilet paper and gently stuff a little of it up his nose, he then proceeded to tilt his head back and you stop him, “No! Don’t do that!” “Why the fuck not?” he asks you indignantly with tissue sticking out of his nose and you couldn’t help but suppress a laugh. “Because the blood will flow to the back of your throat and you can either choke or swallow enough blood to make you puke. Trust me, just sit still and keep your head up like this and pinch a little bit here—yeah there we go and it should take ten minutes to stop. **[5]** ”

“Uh __________? If you don’t mind I really gotta piss.” He said and you noticed a small blush on his cheeks while his light indigo eyes looked away from you. “Oh, right, sorry… go ahead I’ll meet you at the dinner table. And keep pinching, get all that blood out.” You smile one last time, quickly wash your hands again and then exit the bathroom. You then head back down stairs and into the dining room where everyone was waiting for you and Matthew. “Hey there you are! I thought you fell in!” Kaya says with a grin as you sit back down next to Francis and you place your napkin over your lap. “No I actually met up with Matt by the bathroom,” there was a clatter of dishes and as you turn to look you see Kaya, Alfred, Arthur and Francis staring at you, your face then burns up as you shake your head and hold up your hand, “I didn’t mean it like that! What I mean to say was—was— his nose was bleeding! And I took him to the bathroom to help him clean it off! Oh gosh no matter what I say it still sounds bad but it wasn’t I swear!” “Oh so you like them young?” the other woman chuckles then turns her attention to Francis who glares and grits his teeth at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about…“ you mumble and look down into your place at the table “Kaya,” said Arthur as he begins to serve the dishes, “don’t tease the poor girl.” “Oh alright,” Kaya sniffs and hands Arthur her plate so he could serve the stew to her, “spoiling my fun.” “I thought that was going to happen later tonight?” he teases his wife was a small smile and Kaya’s grin returned once more to her face, Alfred rolls his eyes and groans. “Hello! Only child here with selective hearing!”

Matthew then comes back, toilet paper now gone from his nose and he sits back down to your right, Francis was on your left, “Hey there stud!” Kaya grins and winks at him. “What?” Matthew asks in that usual bored tone of his. Oh God… “Um, Arthur would you like some help serving dinner?” you ask hoping against hope that he would say yes, anything to get you out of this awkward situation.

Artie looks up at you stunned that you offer to help when his face breaks out into a smile, one that you swear must be hurting his cheeks for they did certain hurt yours by looking at him, “Oh no,no,no absolutely not! You are a guest in my home, what sort of host would I be to allow you to lift a finger?” “Really I don’t mind helping I—“ “Shut up you stupid woman, you’re making a fool of yourself.” Francis snorts as he crosses his arms over his chest, Matthew snickers and when you turn your attention to look at the young man next to you, you could see the lopsided smirk on his lips, he then winks at you when you both make eye contact. 

Turning your attention to Francis you frown slightly at him, “And how exactly am I making a fool of myself?” you counter argue, “I was politely offering Arthur my help to serve the dinner now what is wrong with that?”

There was a silence at the table as every eye shifted from you to Francis then back; Kaya was the first to say something.

“Hah I like her! She’s got spunk!” 

“You would,” said Francis leering at Kaya who smirked.  “More spunk than you could ever imagine, eh you old frog?” you were a bit stumped to say the least. You have never heard anyone ever talk that way to Francis. Even _you_ barely got away with it and you LIVE with him. He only growls at the other woman, “Growl all you want, don’t forget I handed your ass to you before and I can do it again,”    “I’d like to see you try it,”    “Is that a challenge?” the two looked at each other. Wine colored eyes stared down Francis’ violet ones, almost daring him to say or threaten her again. Artie tuts at the pair and places the stew onto Francis’ plate then you hand Artie your own bowl.    “I do hope you brought your appetites!” the short red head said with a smile, “I made a large pot this time around,”   “My little sweetie is such an artist with food,” Kaya says and snuggles him, “That’s why I married my little wifey!”    “Kaya! I’m the hubby!” Artie blushes and nearly drops the laddle into the pot with a splash.   “Not when you’re in that sweet ass apron, now hurry up and serve the rest of us so you can get your cute little butt back here and enjoy this dinner you worked so hard to make,” she then smacks his butt. Arthur squeaks and joins you all soon after he takes the half empty stewing pot back into the kitchen. 

You couldn’t believe what you saw; they really were a nonconventional family. Soon, it was time to eat. You stare at the delicious looking bowl of fish and mussel stew and you couldn’t decide on how to start so taking your soup you decided to taste a bit of the broth. The flavors and richness of it dances across your tongue as you stare at it in almost disbelief.   

“Oh wow,” you say from your mouthful and you politely cover your mouth over the napkin you had in your lap, “Arthur this is very delicious, before we go you’ve got to give me the recipe for this, it’s wonderful.”

Not to mention of course that it was also so great to have someone else do the cooking. Dinner was rather quiet after it began what with all the wonderful tastes and flavors to try out until afterward both you and Kaya retire into the living room for some after dinner tea and cakes. Alfred and Matthew decided to head out for a while and run off to do whatever it was boys their age got themselves into. You bring in the tray of petit fours **[6]** while Kaya brings in the tea tray and you both take a sit in the living room while the men were in the kitchen talking and cleaning up. You noticed that the gender roles in this house were somewhat, strange. Arthur was a little more domestic and outright womanly while Kaya was more of the man of the house and macho. You then make small talk while enjoying your treats.    “So I was wondering, how long have you and Artie been married?”    “Translation: how long have we been together and how did it happen?”    “Sorry but it is kind of….odd, you guys are like the total opposite of each other.”    “It can be for some, but you’re new and damn that man is sexy as fuck,” she said looking towards the kitchen at Arthur who was obliviously talking Francis’ ear off. Francis on his part didn’t seem to mind, “That ass, those freckles, that hair? Epitome of sexiness, I would so tap that right now,” you can see by the look in her eyes how much she truly loved and desired her husband, it was a nice thing to see, still pretty odd but also very sweet.   “Heh, too much information!”    “You asked honey, I just wish that Old Frog would back off of him sometimes. That little cupcake is all mine,” she pouts and takes a sip of tea from her cup.    “You mean Francis?” you noticed that while Arthur talked happily, Francis was actually listening to him without looking bored or rude.  He even responded back from time to time and you could see a ghost of a smile on his lips, “Wow… so what’s their history?”    “They’ve been friends forever and occasionally lovers but they’ve always been together, a little before I entered the picture when we were kids, and unfortunately neither of us likes to share,”    “Good to know. Territorial?” you ask nonchalantly and you also take a sip of tea from your own cup while watching the dismissive look on Kaya’s face. “You have no idea!” the Native American woman says and takes one of the cakes from the plate it was being served on, “So you and Franny pants huh? Come on spill it, just between us girls.” “Excuse me?” “Is he hairy all over? Like ALL over?”

“Oh my gosh I don’t know!” you suddenly have a flash back on the first time you came to work early to make Matthew and Francis breakfast and Francis had come into the kitchen naked as the day he was born. You tried not to linger too long on his body though you had to admit from what you saw he was a bit on the hairy side but it wasn’t too bad. From what you recall he had just the right amount of chest hair as well as that dust of dark blond hair that started from below his navel and lead right down to his p--

You feel your cheeks grow hot and you turn your face away from the other woman. “Wait, you have slept with him haven’t you?” “No! What makes you think that? Does he always sleep with his employees?” “Huh… well what do you know? I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks; this is the first I’ve ever heard about it.” Oh that didn’t settle well with you, not one bit and as if Kaya could read your anxious thoughts, she continued to speak, “You want the honest truth? I actually thought you were a new girl from one of his brothel houses and he just dolled you up to look like a decent looking girl.”

Well shit.

“Well shoot,” you choose to say instead and you gently shake your head, “Does he usually bring one of his girls over whenever you guys have dinner together?”

“That’s just the thing he never does, it’s either just him or he brings Mattie with him, he’s never brought a date to our house before,” she winks while taking another sip of the tea while she looks at you. You on the other hand only blush at her implication.

“Kaya, throughout this whole evening I can’t help but feel that there’s something going on that I should know abo—“

“We’re back.” Says Matthew coming back in with Alfred who quietly walked behind him and closes the door. And what was with everyone interrupting you this evening too? For heaven’s sake! You sigh and turn to look at the two young men that have just returned.

“Matthew, where did you go?” you asked looking at the tall lanky young man and by the looks of him and Alfred both boys looked a bit sweaty and winded, they also have bits of leaves and grass in their hair. You then look Matt up and down and notice that he has grass stains on the knees of his jeans; that’s going to be a bitch to remove next laundry raid. “Nowhere,” He shrugs and takes a handful of tiny cakes in his hand then passes a few to Alfred who takes them and pops a few in his mouth. “What did you do?” you ask him again and turn to look at him. “Nothing,” He then takes a handful of cakes for himself and stuffs two in his mouth as both boys began to make a bee line to, you’re guessing, Alfred’s room. “Who did you see?” you try again as you give his retreating back an exasperated look; you also notice that Alfred was sporting grass stains on his back. What the fuck were they doing? Maybe fighting again, crap. “No one **[7]** ,” He muffled with a mouthful of cake until they were both gone, you make a painful sounding sigh then you look to Kaya, “That’s what I’ve been dealing with most days. But he’s a good boy I know that much.”

“Matt’s always been a boy of few words,” says Kaya, “Seriously, sometimes I used to wonder if he was around at times,”    “So it’s normal behavior?”    “You bet so don’t take it personally, especially after he and Alfred have fought each other, it’s normal,”    “They mainly do it to protect Artie,” said Francis walking in after he had helped Artie with some of the dishes, “Doesn’t like to know that they’ve been fighting,”    “Really?”    “He can be a bit sensitive,” said Kaya nibbling on another cake, “And it’s just best that we keep that from him for a while,” “I also think it’s getting late and we should get going,” concluded Francis who walks over to the stair case to call for Matthew. 

Artie soon reenters the living room where you had all gather, Al stood at the bottom of the stairwell waves his good byes then heads back upstairs, you couldn’t help but notice the slight limp in his step but you chose to dismiss it, thinking perhaps the boys’ second fight was a little rougher than you thought. You grin as you walk over to the smaller man and hug him. 

“Thank you very much for the invite to dinner, I had a good time and it was lovely meeting all of you.” “You should thank Franny, this dinner was his idea.” Kaya grins and looks up at Francis as she puts an arm around Artie’s shoulders and hugs him tight, “Isn’t that right Franny?” “I knew it, I fucking knew it.” Matthew smirks and nudges his father in the ribs. Francis turned a shade of red and huffs, “I did no such thing,” he then turns to look at you, “And don’t you be getting any stupid ideas that this means something.” “I didn’t say anything now did I?”

“So sassy!” Kaya squees with a grin.

“Quiet you devil woman!” Francis snarls, his cheeks slightly pink. “Careful Franny-Pants your humanity is showing,”    “At least I fuckin’ have humanity. We all know gingers have no souls,”    “We don’t?!” Artie said wibbling, tears were threatening to run down his cheeks.    “Not red headed gingers, red eye gingers,”    “Yeah Franny, you caught me, the association of the red eyed people decided to place blame onto the redheads to ourselves out the clear. I swear you’re getting fuckin’ senile old man,”    “I’m not old!”    “Threw your back out didn’t you?”    “I was doing something important you demon bitch,”   “Standing up isn’t something important!” 

“Come on __________, Mathieu, we are leaving,” Francis ushers the two of you out as the three of you then start down the house path toward the driveway. 

“Thank you Mr. Bonnefoy,” you turn to look at him once you get in the car and buckle up, you then look up to wave at Arthur and Kaya who were watching you all when they both smile and wave back, “I liked meeting your friends, they’re very nice people despite all the arguing and the rough   housing.” You snicker just as he pulls out of the drive way, Francis only grunted in acknowledgement as he drives you all home.

**~*~**

“They make a lovely couple,” said Artie smiling as they both stared at the family leaving and then he waves just as __________ catches both their eyes and return the wave at her.   “Yes they do, I’m actually surprised Franny can act so self-conscious with her about,”    “Though really wish you two would get along,” Artie pouts as he looks to his wife.   “We do!  Us bantering all the time with each other shows that we care. It’s what us frenemies do!” Artie only smiles and shakes his head. 

“And he can’t help that he wants me so bad that he can barely stand it,” she groans and looks at her husband with a smirk.    “Kaya!”    “What?!” she grins, “It’s true,” Kaya then wraps her arms around the smaller man, “And besides… don’t we have plans for the rest of this evening?” Artie’s pout turns into a genuine grin, “I suppose we do.” “You suppose?! You Mr. Kirkland promised me some sweet, sweet red hair, freckled loving.”

Artie snickers and pulls her in for a kiss, “That I did my dear that I most certainly did.”

The couple head back inside just as soon as they saw Francis’s car speed off down the street before turning a corner and disappearing into the night.

…


End file.
